Even though some things are better left unsaid
There's a few things I need to get off my chest
I need to vent - let me tell you why

I'm suicidal, maniacal, self-destructive
You leave me no hope, no life
Nothing worth living for
I've taken it, can't take it anymore
My worst nightmare
You make me want to slit my own fucking throat
Just so I'll be rid of you
Just to get rid of you

You self-righteous fuck
Give me a reason not to rip your fucking face off
Why don't you take a good look in these eyes
Cause I'm the one that's gonna tear your fucking heart
out
My hate is contagious; you've got no one to run to
EXILE

Just tell me fucking why everything becomes an issue
Your opinion is always senseless - fuck this
You make my fucking skin crawl
I've lived with it - can't stand anymore
My worst nightmare
I want to take a bullet in the fucking head
Every time I think of you, every time I think of you

You self-righteous fuck
Give me a reason not to rip your fucking face off
Why don't you take a good look in these eyes
Cause I'm the one that's gonna tear your fucking heart
out
My hate is contagious
Anyone else need to vent?
You've tried my tolerance; I just want you to die

There's nothing more for me to say
There's nothing more for you to say
There's nothing more for us to say
I fucking hate you anyway
EXILE

Can't count the ways that you light my fuckin fuse
I can't tolerate the sight of you, the thought of you or
anything about you
You know what I want to see?
How many ways can a loser fucking lose
I know you'll find a way
The humility awakening the idiot inside
You spineless fucking maggot - you're just wasting my
time
Get out of my face - Get out of my life
Out of my fucking way - Just die

what up homies? me and bob were chillin in his car and i saw somethin moving and it came out from behind a tree and it was a fox. crazy shit..so me and bob went on a stoner mission to find the fox cause it ate my cat. and found a chilll spot behind the feild behind my backyard. its bad ass. but i got so stoned i got stuck in a tree and it took me a while to get down. that was pretty funny. hey my first games are this weekend on saturday and sunday. on saturday its at 320 and on sunday its at 235 at the addison ice arena on grace street. its gonna be awesome. later tards

well it has indeed been a while. i moved, got shafted (<-i said shaft) out of a room, but i got a car. THE BEAST!!!!!!!! the house itself is nice, i like the outside better. anyone whos been here knows why. speaking of which my brothers birthday party is next weekend here. good reason to get drunk right?he says 2 kegs i say hell prolly get 1. but since none of you know my new number or my new address none of you can reach me. my new number is 671-9239. you take army trail goin towards bloomingdale and turn right on walter rd. 4n340 is the address. its a little past swift. only idiots cant find itso dont be a fuckin idiot. oh yeah im playin hockey again, i just finished the conditioning clinic today. its gonna be awesome this year. your all gonna come to my games too. later kids

whats up kids? just got back from wisconsin, and it was awesome. go karts and mini golf rule!!!!!! yeah wel im moving this weekend and also getting my first pay check. hel yeah!!!!!! im excited. and bored. i like someone. but im not telling who. later

today i turned 17, i finally got a job, hell yeah. so now i can see a rated R movie by myself. and i can stay out late!!!! yay! woopdey do dah day.later

hey kids whats up? this summers has been pretty fun so far. wisconsin # 2 was good. came home a little early, but oh well.the show and the party afterwards were good too on july 2nd. christos parents went outta town this weekend so i was there everyday, drunk as shit. pretty fun. still cant find a job.still suck at life. im talking to sam now i guess. kinda odd. but so is everything else that happens to me. if anyone ever fucks with you, steal there lighter. there can be only 1 highlander. bye

remind me never to put gus corey me and bob in the same area for more than a day.let alone a weekend. crazy shit happens. goin back upi there this weekend though. this time its me mike rick mattp and maybe bob. this weekend is gonna be awesome. tomarrow we gotta fill mikes truck up with band equipment, go play a show and then theres a party at my house, everyone come. just show up like after 930. then saturday im gonna wake up pack all my shit up and pack all of our camping equipment into mikes truck. were gonna be packing so much stuff into the rear of mikes truck it might as well be mr. thurbee. hahahaha du du chhhhhhhh.then were gonna head to to wisconsin and ill be there till late monday drink smoking and fishing. and were getting a case of monster drink!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!hell yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!! alright well later kids!!!!!!!!!!!!

Date:	2004-06-24 22:02
Subject:	hey kids
Security:	Public
Mood:	anxious

hell yeah kids. im goin away this weekend. its gonna be awesome. me gus bob and corey are goin to wisconsin and its gonna be fuckin awesome.; remember to go to the show on july 2nd. later homies!

Date:	2004-06-23 15:01
Subject:
Security:	Public
Mood:	crushed

My boyfriend is so well groomed, just the other night before we went out to dinner he spent 45 minutes in the bathroom chosing an outfit to wear and kept doing his hair. I wanted to go to Red Lobster, you know, a nice little romantic fishy smelling dinner to enjoy while talking about our future together. Instead he wanted to go to Applebees which was full of screaming toddlers and their 20something year old parents. What a disgrace. While I was attempting to have a meaningful conversation with him, he just kept talking about how he wants some dirty action when we get home. What a shut down to my attempt to have a romantic evening out. On the way home, I played "our" song and a verse and a half into it, he changed it, saying "this song was so 3 months ago". I had to fight back the tears and hurt.

When we got back to my place, he ran into my bedroom to masturbate becuase I was too emotionally distraught for any sex. The entire time he was in my room, I sat on the couch and wrote in my journal about how I care for him so much and how I wish he could be more like Sam. Shes so beautiful and fragile, I wish she could just be mine. When he finally left my room, we sat and watched the 9oclock news for a half hour, it was just so akward and it was simply tearing me up inside to know that my attempts to make tonight so wonderful, had crashed. He left after a while, saying he was hungry again. I locked the door after him, put on "Something to Write Home About" by The Get Up Kids. What a touching album. When the CD got to "Long Goodnight" I bursted out crying, shut the CD player off, went to my room and cryed myself to sleep.

How to make a

Ingredients: 5 parts competetiveness 5 parts crazyiness 5 parts ego

Method: Stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. Add lovability to taste! Do not overindulge!

what the fuck is up kids. i havent really had time to update lately with everything thats been goin on.....hahaha yeah right, there aint shit goin on. i saw the aquabats again but thats about it. geech hasnt been practicing alot lately, but weve got a few new songs, they kick ass. were playing a show on july 2nd at C.O.D. its gonna be kick ass. oh yeah the geech site is up, pretty crappy but its all good, ust dont look at the pictures, i look retarded in all of them. www.captaingeechsss.4t.com everyones been really shady lately, i dunno whats goin on with that. still havent found a job though. that covers everything i htink.........oh yeah i forgot, im moving again........on august 1st........anyone know what day that is?later kids : (

hey kids, captain geech is playing a show tomarrow....FRIDAY. it is at the good samaritan first united methodist church....960 west army trail road. its in addison. call me for directions. 628 1019.

yeah so today was battle of the bands and we found out we were playing 1st. fuck that shit i say. so early in the day we all ran a whole buncha errands. then came battle of the bands. we did good except i knocked over my snare in the begining of the 1st song then homer knocked over my cymbol and rick set it back up, then rick accidently knocked it back dsown again. oh well. we got 4th. thanks to everyone who watched. later

ok im gonna take a pole here. does the fact that a girl, made out with 2 of my freinds at different times when i liked her make me a bad person? well i guess it does according to her, i guess i was such a mean guy. well yeah i was an ass but i would never ever sink so low as to make out with your freinds when you liked me, behind my back none the less.and i would never ever sink so low as to do it on the way to your house to sleep over. so go fuck yourself, i am an asshole to people who deserve it, and you deserve it more than anyone ive ever met.

i hate the world, i hate the trees, i hate the birds i hate the beeeeees. only 5 more days till battle of the bands. im excited. itll be fun. yeap yeap yeap. now steves band is playing though, so we have some actual competition. hey whats everyone doing this weekend? every tell me there plans and ill show up to ALL OF THEM! (all = most), later kids

Date:	2004-05-20 14:31
Subject:	meoooooooooow
Security:	Public
Mood:	bouncy
Music:	atom and his package

so this weekend should be interesting. im in chicago right nizow about to go home. slept out here last night. so yeah, i wanna hang out with someone today. i wonder if that 1 someone will call me. hmmmm i wonder if that 1 someone doesnt know that there that one someone and is wondering what the fuck im rambling on about right now. haha. well then.i care about nutrition!!!!!!!!!! atom and his package rocks, im gonna have him play at my birthday party!.mhmmm im bored. so to rule out the possibility of that one someone not knowing there that one someone and not calling me, everyone call me today. hahahaha.theres a 40 percent chance that 1 of the guys in pantera is gay.see i told you, metal dudes are gay too. later kids

I know your fear of loss
And your struggles with faith
And how it takes everything that you have to face the day
The virtues you possess now bring you eternal pain
All you have is contempt for a life you can't obtain
All your heroes have failed you
Yet you try and prevail
Face your torment and dismantle your doubt
Refuse this legacy of shame and deceit
Cause the only real truth in your life that you know is hostility
Your world is coming apart
Remain steadfast
Perseverance
Against all opposition
Crushing all limitations
Pure strength through solitude
Discipline and determination
You can't accept what you've been told
Anchored in sin you must reverse your descent
Declare the weight of the world has yet to claim you
And admit that your faults will not restrain you
Glimpses of fate bring light to your despair
Realise truth isn't short of your grasp
Resurrect every dream that you've buried alive
And never succumb to the war that you fight


saturday was interesting, i got grounded, oh well. sunday we had a going away party for my brother jay, and a birthday party for my nephew jay. after that i went and saw a movie with ashley, shes cool. only cool people run read lights. monday had band practice. today i applyed at culvers. my arms and fingers are sore from yesterday. lalala. run dmc kicks ass

so i saw van helsing yesterday. it was disappointing. it coulda been so much better. then i went with gus to moes. then to some party that we got kicked out of before we even got in. waste of a night, went home gus slept over. thats about it. just had band practice, matts pissing me off. hes being a bitch. i should kill him. yeap im bored, prolly shouldnt be online so im gonna go.

so thats how you want it to be eh? fine. everyone come see captain geech june 1st at addison trail.

so yeah, i havent said anything in a long time. well let me take this time to say a few words......the, apple, phone,cookie jar. so yeah captain geech made our demo tape yesterday. im so tired from playing the drums for 5 and 1/2 hours.my fingers hurt so bad. then we went and got sam. she beat the fuck outta me last night... good job!!!. its ok i liked it, except she couldnt bite me so i felt bad for her. she punched me in the neck and i sneezed blood. it hurt. my gland is swollen from it too, it wasnt even that hard of a punch, it was just a good one.i had fun, it was really boring other than that though. i still havent got to explain something to this girl, i keep forgetting. please unblock me samantha!!!!!!